i can’t believe cedric diggory asked voldemort ‘who are you’ lmao. like i know he got killed straight after but still. iconic
post: heh heh ha what if harey poter smoked weed
y’all: 3,000,000 word fanfiction about harry potter’s dealer who’s mentioned offhandedly on one page of prisoner of azkaban who’s a hufflepuff and is the gay representation we all deserve and he is in love with peeves and its a saga exploring adolescense in a post bush economy and it takes up half my entire dashboard
Ariana Dumbledore Obscurial theory
*Don’t read if you don’t want to see Fantastic Beasts spoilers!*
I’m going to rewrite the harry potter series and it’s going to be called Hermione Granger and The Glorious Glock where she gets a gun and shoots voldemort through the skull and then everyone is free to continue their education in peace. It’ll be 3.5 pages long.
they’re in Great Britain
where in the world is an 11-year-old black girl going to get a gunthe store
Britain isn’t America. You can’t just walk into a random supermarket and buy a ton of guns. In fact, a gun is several hundred pounds each due to you needing to have a separate license for each one. Then you also need to have it where no one could accidentally find it and if anyone apart from you knows where the gun is, you lose your license and gun. I think it has to be locked up in a position no one will ever find it in.
Pretty much, an eleven year old kid is not gonna get a gun in Britain.
she goes to a wizard school with a three headed dog in the broom closet.
it’s weird how bland the weasleys’ names are compared other ones in the hp universe. wilhelmina grubby-plank, anyone? look at the whole damn black clan – regulus, phineas nigellus, narcissa. it is a parade of anomalous names. gellert, fenrir, merope.
and then the weasleys go with… bill, charlie, fred, george. and i am convinced that this is because arthur thought common muggle names were chic and possibly more convenient when he takes his sprogs shopping at tescos for spark plugs
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
the boy that called hogwarts home and had to leave it 7th year would DEFINITELY try to never leave let him have pEACE
@imperiohs THIS IS TOO PURE
harry👏fucking👏potter👏would👏never👏 tell👏his👏son👏that👏he👏wished👏he👏wasn't👏his👏child👏
me, 364 days a year: i love harry james potter
me, on july 31st: I 👏🏼 LOVE 👏🏼 HARRY 👏🏼 JAMES 👏🏼 POTTER
Two weeks before the end of the term, the sky lightened suddenly to a dazzling, opaline white and the muddy grounds were revealed one morning covered in glittering frost. Inside the castle, there was a buzz of Christmas in the air.
I just want to remind everyone that it’s more likely than not that rita skeeter and bellatrix black were in the same year at school and since I’m pretty confident that rita skeeter was a slytherin, this means they were roommates
for seven years
screw a marauders prequel please write me these assholes mean girlsing each other back and forth for their entire hogwarts careers
sorting hat quizzes be like
How do you brush your teeth?
a) bravely
b) while making a sandwich
c) while reading a book
d) I’m a snake